Not everyone is your grandparent

At a recent Networking event I was sitting next to a Village Professional who shared a moment about when they joined the sector they said, “I thought that everyone would be like their grandparents.”

They learnt quickly that isn’t the case. 

I can see why it would be easy to think this way having come from outside the sector myself.

For the past 6-months we have been developing topics on Emotional Intelligence – and releasing them into our Knowledge Centre.

What stands out for anyone who is completing these topics is the Sailboat Metaphor. A powerful way to understand the complexity of human behaviour and emotion.

Each of us is like a sailboat, navigating the waters of life.

• The water represents the different areas we engage with—home, work, relationships.
• Our emotions are like the compass—sometimes pleasant, sometimes uncomfortable, but always offering valuable feedback about what matters most.
• Our strengths are the sails, helping us catch the wind and move forward.
• Our challenges are like leaks, holding us back if we don’t address them.
• Weather, other boats, and our chosen destination all shape our journey.

Understanding this metaphor helps explain why people react so differently—even in the same situation. What you see on the surface (the sail) is never the whole story. Emotional intelligence is about learning to read the compass, notice the weather, and appreciate the whole boat—not just its direction.

Everyone is Unique
No two people are the same. Every person is shaped by their life experiences, upbringing, and the challenges they’ve faced. Just as no two buildings have the same structure beneath the exterior, no two individuals share the same inner world. One person might have a calm demeanour that hides the struggles they’ve overcome, while another might be outspoken, yet shaped by different challenges. To truly lead people, you must recognise and appreciate these differences.

Your View of the World is Yours Alone
Since each person is unique, it also means that everyone’s view of the world is just as unique. The way you interpret events, people, or challenges is based on your personal experience, and it’s important to remember that others will see things differently. As a leader, understanding that your perspective isn’t the only one – and embracing the perspectives of others – is key to fostering a more inclusive and respectful environment.

Empathy is Essential
Everyone needs empathy. Whether it’s a team member, a resident, or a family member, understanding and acknowledging their feelings, struggles, and needs is the foundation of great leadership. Empathy allows you to connect with others on a deeper level, and it enables trust to grow. It’s not about having the answers or fixing everything; it’s about being present, listening, and showing that you care.

Active Listening: A Leadership Superpower
In leadership, active listening is a superpower. Too often, we listen just enough to respond, without truly hearing what the other person is saying. Active listening means giving your full attention to someone, understanding their point of view, and responding thoughtfully. It builds rapport, fosters trust, and helps you gain deeper insights into the people you lead. By listening actively, you can better support your team and the residents, making informed decisions that consider everyone’s needs.

And that’s where great leadership begins
Recognising that everyone is unique, that your view is just one of many, and that empathy and active listening are the tools that help you connect, lead, and support your team and community effectively.