There is a fine line between direction and transformation

Calls for help in our sector rarely begin with legislation – they begin with people. 

Last week I received a call from a sector colleague. They had a difficult situation to unpack in their village involving a resident – and they were seeking advice. We get these calls quite often. 

The topic of conversation wasn’t so much transaction question/answer. A “what does the contract” or “what does the Act” say. It was a ‘human’ moment about the changing care needs of a resident – and the challenges it is causing.  

One of my earliest mentors in the sector, when I first started working ‘in’ villages used to say to me – these make a good ‘coaching moment.’ 

This definition from leadership researchers Dr. Christina Turner and Dr. Grace McCarthy captures it perfectly 

“A coachable moment is an informal, usually unplanned or unexpected opportunity for a manager to have a conversation with an employee aimed at facilitating the employee to problem solve or learn from a work experience.” 

Coaching moments are quick interactions, unstructured and unexpected, pausing to leverage the potential learning opportunity that they present. 

Now, while they are unstructured, the ability to shift your thinking from manager to coach comes down to the tools you have available to you. The tool I often use is the GROW framework. 

GROW stands for Goal, Reality, Options, and Way Forward. 

• Goal: What outcome are we really seeking here? Not just ticking a compliance box, but ensuring the resident feels heard and their dignity maintained, or the staff member feels supported. 

• Reality: What is happening right now? What factors are influencing the situation — emotions, expectations, or systemic pressures? 

• Options: What paths are available? Could we try a different communication approach, lean on a policy, or involve another team member? 

• Way Forward: What action will you take next, and how will you hold yourself accountable? 

By using this framework, a tense situation becomes an opportunity for growth. Instead of simply telling someone what to do, we guide them to think differently, to build their skills, and to gain confidence in handling the next challenge. 

This is where the real mindset shift happens. From telling to coaching. Quite often we go into a manager mode and want to ‘tell’. To direct someone to the solution. Coaching moments are about taking the time to help them find the way forward toward the eventual solution. 

Over time, these moments build resilience, and creates a team culture of connection, competence and – importantly – compassion.  

This last point is important. 

Next time someone in your business reaches out to ask you to problem solve with them, or troubleshoot, take a moment to consider – is this a coaching moment? Rather than telling them what to do, can I build their capability. 

As village professionals, recognising the line between business imperatives and human needs is fine and critical to our success. Just as the shift from manager to coach is essential to their’s.  

The best leaders don’t just manage they coach.