Trust: Holding Us Together in Conflict
This week we have been talking ‘Communicating Through Conflict.’
It is a conversation that acknowledges one thing – conflict is inevitable. Residents disagree. Families challenge decisions. Staff clash.
It is this inevitability of conflict that had us reach out to communications expert, Cat Matson, and invited to her run workshops across the country.
A real aha moment was a discussion on the concept we, as Village Professionals, do not have to solve for all conflicts. We don’t have to fight every battle. There are times, where we can simply acknowledge the conflict, and let it go to move on.
The ability to do this is bundled together by one thing. Trust.
When trust is strong, we are afforded the ability to choose our moment.
The Relationship Formula
This week we have an artcile from Natasha, our Learning and Development Manager, on being a community builder. It is an article that talks to how our role is to build connections between people.
It is through these connections, these relationships, that little by little we build the trust between not just ourselves and residents, but between the residents themselves.
Consider this, there is a relationship formula that Cat shared. An actual formula.
In any group of (N) people, the number of potential relationships (R) can be calculated through this simple formula
So, for a retirement village of 100 residents, plus three staff, N is 103. the number of relationships in the village is then:
(103 x (103 – 1))/2 = 5,253
We are therefore part of a community consisting of 5,253 relationships. We haven’t even included families and other key stakeholders that regularly contribute to to the activity and wellbeing of residents.
If each relationship is a thread, we have some that are loose, tense or possibly frayed.
That’s where trust comes in. Trust is the rope that bundles these threads together.
It’s what gives shape to the web of relationships we work within. And when conflict arises, it’s trust that helps us decide when to engage – and how to communicate.
Because not every disagreement needs to become a confrontation.
In a high-trust environment, people give each other grace. They assume good intent. They speak with care – or choose to stay quiet. That’s not avoidance. That’s leadership.
Over the years, I’ve learned that the best leaders aren’t the ones who jump into every conflict. They’re the ones who’ve earned enough trust that people feel safe – even when things go unsaid.
So if you’re facing tension today, ask yourself:
As we make our way around the country, reconnecting with Village Professionals provides countless moments to share war stories and reflect on more than two decades in this sector.
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